Nation Birthday

9th august, it's singapore's birthday again, it had been a year since the last national day. Although i aren't a firm believer of "time flies" as i believe that its wat we do that help us determine the speed of time passing us, this time, i felt that it passed fast on me. Perhaps its becoz of the way i lived my life for this life, it's sad, it felt like a year without any desireable memories to keep. Last year, the year before... almost every year, i have some memories to keep, both good or bad. But this time, there isn't, it is a weird feeling, a feeling that you want to get rid of, yet without solution. I had been feeling low ever since the end of my o's, everything seem so unappealing towards me, health exploits, desired life, everything is not what i wanted. Since then, i had been thinking, what if i have a terminal illness? Death is not what people want, not something people look forward to, people may feel a sting whether they thought of it, but it changed in me, i don mind leaving the face of this earth. Maybe this is what depression meant.

*Friendships, Relationships, Kinships. They are valuable yet suffering stuffs. Enjoyable when there's a smooth ride, yet a tradegy when it aren't right. I am a relatively emotional guy, sensitive guy, and is someone who can't take much setbacks. These setbacks may be from myself, but its mostly things which i evaluate that made me ponder much about. People personalities, behaviour, everything makes me wonder why are they like that. This seriously is sickening, i wished to be another guy, someone that is similiar to many of my friends, but how will i be able to do that? I am who i am, a guy who rarely gets into the true heart of friends*