Worst day in poly - realistic life

what an idiotic day i had today, it was very very very terrible.

If horoscope are anything to go by, i am a libra, people who want justice. Indeed, that sort of signify me, i want a justified world, a "perfect" world, maybe i am a perfection seeker. It disgust me when i see someone doing things, in a bad manner, to get what they want. I will wonder why can't they get what they want in a good way, and i sort of noe why, there aren't justice in the world, there is only fast or slow, and using a bad way is the faster to get the things u wanted, and this is ideal in a world without a father judge. But i still dislike this actions, as it makes the world sink deeper into the injustice side, i doesn't want to be one and friends that does that hurt me deeply.

People often say, don't hold grudges. I often wonder whether it is better or right to hold grudges, and i got my answer. Actions, Behaviour, Implications, Thinkings, everything are different, everything has a different evaluation. Maybe you should forget about people giving u a kick in your butt, but other things that people did, can never be forgiven, as they meant to do it in the expense of your feelings. You sow what you reap, if people doesn't bother about others, why do you bother about them? no, i don't mean ignore, becoz there aren't justice in the world, if you are a good guy, repay what blessing befalled to you, including those evils one, maybe i do mean revenge, but thats between a guy with an enemy, what if the other is someone that is not your nemesis?

*Somethings are not thought of before actions are done, but i think that everyone should be able to think, will the things they do, implicate or harm others*

It started with the autocad lesson.
The teacher gave us a mini test that is impossible to complete, none, including the teacher, can finish it all by himself during the time given.

We got about doing the job, trying our best, and thought of ways to complete it. After doing some, we splited, each do one, and we transfer to one another later. This will make it possible to finish the whole thing. And this is the reason i started the terrible day. It's the teacher fault too, he's like a corrupted magistrate of the ancient China, give him money, benefits, or do things he like, and u will be able to get a offical post from him. It's weird on the other hand, it's your friend involved, u want him to do well, but its a confused feeling when he may be able to do well, in a way perceived by normal people as bad, not the "guang ming zhen da" way.

Lets think of another thing, do you make friend with people of integrity or with people that will give u benefits? Being the guy i am, i make friends with people that isn't that horrific in the way they do things, i am a justice seeker, and doesn't like things to be done in the injustice way, including the things your friends do. I mean, if ur friend do what u hate, yes, he can still be your friend, but not the perfect friend that wont have self thoughts when it involves each other. This friends are hard to find. Extremely hard as people are getting more and more self conscious... and i hate to face that reality, but it feel even worse when u care about others who doesn't care about you once they may get something, worse, even in the expense of you. I am thinking of that possibility and that leads me back to how i felt during my 1st few days into and prior of poly.

*You will have impressions about your friends, what kind of person he is, and what he may do in some situations*

Ok, Back to it, yes, something that is impossible to finish. We splited, he did the last one needed to do and i did the one before. The teacher came, wow! you finished the 1st 1 already, so good, fantastic, fabulous... so on, thinking that he is so great as he started with the last 1 needed already. He didnt speak of the truth, he played on with it, to get a definite A. Well, it is ok, if your friend can get a A even if he did something bad, a lie, this is a corrupted world, u may only get the good things through mean ways. But it's another case when you got others implicated, let me explain. The teacher thought of him of a different calibre, compared with others and shoot at them. My friend who played on is closer to me than anyone else in the class, but what he had done and harm other people becoz the bloody teacher has the "Can finish wat... he finished, why cant others". He shoot other people in my class, and they didnt noe they got cheated. It was indeed an impossible mission, but lies covered it up and made a great guy who could finish it and pushed others to inferior status. Although i aren't pretty much affected but also affected abit, i got such an idiotic feeling, it's like, no one will not think about only themselves. That made me disgusted becoz i had wished people to spare a thought for others, to be able to, but even a close friend of me can't, what can i expect from others? I thought about this sentence the whole day and it really feel bad. i can't really explain it. No one may understand me, but i will try to explain it later on.

Ok, that was 1 case, the other, the teacher wanted it to be submitted, uploaded. It can't be finished and my friend didn't have that work done. Lie passed thru, and it may get exposed. And hey, instead of telling the teacher the truth and spare others from the agony of inferior status when the teacher shoot them, he thought about himself again. Asked for the completion of the impossible mission from others which is basically impossible to have, and went for another way to secure an escape route. Like i said, i did part of the 1st part, and he did part of the 2nd part, none completed, the lesson was over, we were supposed to go after the teacher chased us off, my friend stayed, do the 2nd part, asked the teacher to see that he is good which basically just need time to do and try to secure that A again, without thinking about others. I mean, why can't he stick to reality, speak of justice and say, "it can't be finished" becoz it really cant be finished and have the teacher to accept that fact and don think of other people as incapable. This is what i connected to everything that had happened. That Sucks becoz people want to gain acknowledge even though it's not the right way to!!! IT SERIOUSLY BOTHERS ME!!! and worse, even my friend does it.

The rest of the day were some frustrations, but what seriously made my day bad is the autocad lesson.

I do try my best to think of others 1st, it bothers me when others cant think of others, and do things just for the sake of themselves, and if even a friend won't even think of you, how will other people think about other people to create that type of ideal world where everyone is sensitive to everyone feelings, and try not to hurt them.

Seriously, life is a burden, imagine a utopia, justice prevails thing, will there be such a place? or will there be always a need to CARE ABOUT YOURSELF 1ST!? i am tired of life, too bothersome, idiotic, freaking stupid to have such a cycle. Why not let the Earth explode? get it all done with? or let everyone be a form of Low IQ animal? no feelings, not much thoughts, just get on with the "san jis".