Skipping to play - 28/06/05
Tuesday - sigh, headache for 4 consecutive days already... okok, back to blog, normally, i would have my lessons till 4pm every tuesday... but the last lesson was cancelled and the lesson before it was an e-learning period. haha yea, e-learning is boring like hell, i mean, on one forces u to do something and being the lazy me, i wouldn't sit there and read the dead words! So, a bunch of us decided to leave school after our maths lecture and we went to kbox and kpool at amk, had fun, but went home quite early also lolz. at home, i went online and watched tv, my friend didn't came online and i didn't had a chance to ask nor chat with her lolz. lets hope tml a better day for my head, stupid headache
Usual day in school - 27/06/05
Monday - Today is the beginning of a new week, i went to school... attended lessons... but with the headache that caught up with me during the weekends... it never felt better and worsen when we eventually went to play pool in amk's snookerium after school. I decided that i shouldn't be playing as i seriously felt like vomiting, so i told my friends... and went home just after about an hour of play. At home, i rested the whole day, on the sofa and went online during the night. Yup, a typical day but feeling sick, hope i will feel better tml :) and maybe follow my friends to kbox :D
Blog Birthday - Thoughts - 26/06/05
Hi All, i decided to start a blog to write about... myself. This is my 1st ever "diary" entry in my entire life lolz...
yea... following some blogs of my friends that i browsed before... i also felt like writing about my life's ongoings, some things that are too late to say to others... some things that is stored in my mind and some thinkings that i felt which can't be easily said out to someone i know. The sort of thinkings that - sometimes... wanting others to know, but sometimes... don't know how to ask or say it out.
This week is a weird week for me... it was great at first... but worsen as each day passes.
The main part of this week was the fact that my dad had two free tickets for a movie - batman begins on wednesday, never really thought of watching it at 1st... but my father kept asking me to watch it, perhaps with a friend. So i ponder on who to ask so as to make use of my father tickets which he seemingly wants me to. Being my sensitive self, i decided not to ask 1 of my close friend to watch it with me as disagreements seem to increase after discovering our difference in thoughts{or maybe i am being too sensitive, but i am still the old me that always [think about stuffs to find a conclusion on it(nvm if you don't comprehend what i said :)]}. Actually, i do have friends, friends that i hope will never lose contact from, but i can't ask any of them to watch it with me due to my character, a sickening character to me which made me suffer quite a lot. Basically being a guy that don't really crap alot and straightforward which i think, made some people don't know how to communicate with me. So... i don't have many friends to ask, and there were only two, 1 was said above, and the other(that i asked) is a girl who i never really met or went out before.
Monday was a usual day for me in school, nothing much in it except that my sorethroat worsen after a weekend of durian and satay :P
Tuesday... honestly, i was overwhelmed with a strange feeling(fear and anxious mixture) because the next day will be the movie day and it is the 1st day i will be out alone with a girl instead of a group gathering. I know very well that i aren't an entertaining guy, maybe due to how my life and thinking develop and change after needing to handle some family stuff at a young age which i don't think is a suitable age for being told some breaking news, but life continues, what done can't be undone, it maybe be bad to be thinking and behaving this way sometimes as i offend friends and hurt myself, but i do feel that i became more sensible. Yup, so, on that day i went back home, lying on my sofa thinking about the next day as i want my friend to have a present day out with me. I knocked off, only to wake up feeling ill. I rarely see a doctor for sickness unless i really feel that it has become too much for me, but that day was different, i want to see a doctor and hope that i would recover the next day. So, I went to a doc, took the medication and went home. Back home, i went online and chatted, and there came this sentence i said which i feel wasn't wat i really want my friend to think what i meant. i said "at the clinic, the... ahem(how do i address those two working at the "reception" or "pharmacy"? nurse or doctor assistants? hmm, i am dumb lolz...) said i am tall... handsome and looked like ou xiang(idol)." well... i indeed felt happy about that comment... but i am not a guy that thinks the world should be run by appearance although everyone(i think) including me wants to look nice. Yup, and so, i told my friend that and thought about what she may think and concluded that she may think that i am boasting about it which i really don't. i dislike having misunderstandings which i think makes other define me as another person than what i really am but nothing can be perfect so i didn't wanted to explain much about it which may worsen. I mean... how do i explain it in a way that it can be tuned to the way i think? everyone thinks differently... haha... i am a sensitive idiot, aren't i?
Wednesday, this is the day which i... had fun but also disappointed in myself. We went for the movie which is at night and went home after that. Although my friend said she enjoy herself, i felt that i should have been more interactive, perhaps i was too shy haha... But i sure am a quiet guy.
Thursday, This day, i went out with my EoD friends for the initial-D movie which to me, is nice but lack of the climax i am looking forward to. it's a more comedic-orientated movie which is entertaining. After the movie, it was time for the pre-planned seoul garden dinner which i have to give it a miss due to my reluctance to eat "heaty" food which i know will make me fall sick and the ulcer, perfectly placed to irritate any movement made by my mouth... its at the bottem of the bottem jaw's gum, infront of my front tooth, sitting at the connection between my gum and my chin's skin, it can't be any worse, can it? So i went home and spent the rest of the day.
Friday, this is the day i felt confused. After the bothersome 8am - 5pm school, i played table tennis with a friend of mine in poly till 8:30pm and made my way to hougang plaza for a dinner with my family as my brother came back from his NS - physical training. After the late hearty dinner, i went home and on the laptop to go online. Here, i chatted with my friends, but i felt that the friend who watched the movie with me was cold towards me. Being the sensitive me, i felt weird. This continued for the whole of saturday and i was wondering what happened till now... Perhaps i should take the initiative and ask.
Yup, feeling lost during the whole weekend, i decided to write something to make me feel better. At least, to figure out the weird feeling i felt. But i don't really know what to write either... i don't know what exact words express what i think, but i just wanted to write out something to dissolve this fluctuated feeling.
