Life?

Ok i gonna get this straight, If you think u gonna get a better life by trying out things u may like in life, its fine, If you think u feel lifeless at home and want to go out, its fine, But you have to draw a fine line between all these.

You may feel you are wasting your life, you may feel that not going out is wasting your life, you may feel that not doing something is wasting your life. If you think that doing things need company, be it more fun or watever reason, and u seek for that company, be it one or a group, its what u desire. If you seek for that someone, a relationship to do stuff with, is that true love. If you fail in doing so and seek a group, a group have many different thoughts, understand it, don force it, for no one love doing things he/she thinks may be uncomfortable. Fun is what most desire in outing.

You want to get into a relationship, no matter wat motive, to have someone to share love, to have someone to watch movie, to have someone to go out, to have some experience, to have someone close to you, to have someone that shares all burdens, to feel loved, to feel acknowledged by someone, to feel attached to someone, to feel wanted by someone, to feel important to someone, watever u seek, don be desperate due to opportunities or just becoz u feel u will be missing out of something, can that be forced?

Look at the clear picture, you can seek what you desire, but if it involves another party with another brain thinking differently, consider that and shut the nonsense. For nothing is a replacement. A desired path is something you must have confidence, and determination with effort to enroute. It may not be easy, but there is no replacement.

Basically, you want someone to walk with you. A desired path. But can anyone do walk with you? no, it involves a two way relationship, a willing party. That may be hard to attain, but you can only try, getting fed up about opportunities trips people. Thats due to desperation, opportunity can be seeked, and not forced.

You turn to friends, but friends are friends, you desire a relationship, not friendship, thats your rating. This replacement will never be enough. As you try to seek the experience you never experienced before, till a relationship established. You will engulf a relationship as something very precious, hard to obtain, thats why no friendship will ever be enough till you experience relationship and evaluate it. Be it still the same, or be it different, you seek a relationship that will never be satisfied by friendship.

It all ends up as you find it nescessary to have someone. Thats your desire. Clear your mind, think it this way, a girl that you are involved in a friendship, and a girl that you are involved in a relationship, both accompanies you out, do you seek the feeling of being important to the girl you are involved in a relationship, or do you seek the feeling of having a person of opposite gender to have fun with you. If able, compare this to replacement friendship, is there a difference.

You said, so hard to find people, no wonder i wanted to find a gf, what does that shows. You said, fukers la bye, fuker with a s while one ignores and quit, what does that shows. Relating that to finding gf may be an excuse, for u seek a relationship that you never had chance to rate before. If its true, a gf is not what you seek, a girl is what you seek in doing things, for it seems more appropriate. the fukers thing is truely dumb, for you seek an outing, for you having a request, fuker is appropriate for the one who ignore and quit, fukers implies that you deem everyone not cooperating with you, but you are having a request, not a demand. You can say that nicely, but you have to know and feel that its a request, and seriously not a demand. Not getting what you want can get frustration and scolds, but if that involves other party, thats being spoiled. If you think others are not on, a wet blanket, think about other things you are not on and being a wet blanket. Get this into your mind, for every interest is different, reasons different, motive different. Making things sound nice may be kind, but please entice the true meaning. What others may be on to you, their other side may not be on, a conflict of interest, think more than once, think more than yourself. *SideTrack* You can be self centered and get along with it, others may feel it and give way, but what it really brings is a give and take situation, someone give, the other take, a guage exist in everyone, some high some low. Think for everyone, for it makes lives better.

Post End Term Examinations (2nd)

Blogging to me has changed from daily to weekly to monthly to occasionally, whenever i felt like blogging lol.

Recently, i got a swollen mouth, a pimple like infection probably due to me biting my cheek wall when "ton"ing in friend's hse. It was terrible because it was just beside my lips, between the connection of the bottem and top lips, and yea, i couldnt eat freely and talk properly. After the swell slowly declined, there were restrictions at that portion as it has not fully recovered. Unfortunately enough, my dental appointment falls on the 7th of March. I didnt wanted to change the appointment as it was changed a few times by the doctor as she was away on MCs and so on, so i decided to tolerate the oncoming pain due to over stretching it. Yea, the dentist gave no mercy :/ but i got through it, li hai ba!? lol.

After the exams, i felt that this term was poorer than the previous 1 in academic aspects, mainly due to the fact that i did not listen to any lecture at all. Yea, 16 weeks of schooling, and i did not listen to any lectures, mainly talking to friends or sleeping at a corner. This term also, did not have constructive tutorials, it was quite terrible and nothing can be absorbed, basically because i did not listen as well, but the tutors were not that good too. Alright, so i got to count on myself and friends help to get the exams out of the way, the outcome wasn't that great and i was quite disappointed, so i aint looking forward for my results at all lol. Lets hope for the best for everyone.

Ok, a writeup on my class after two terms. Great lads, all of them are friendly and it was good to be in this class. However, i felt something missing in the social aspect, we don have any events organised wholefully as a class or any gathering which involves the whole class, basically, the class is divided into two groups, although all of us, maybe except one went along with each other fine, there seems to be two groups close among each other. Definitely, i felt that this isnt the way it shud be as the ideal situation will be the whole class as one, but this is life, understandable. Perhaps this is due to poly life too, but my class seems stagnant in after schoolday life. In secondary school, we often play soccer after school, but in poly, we only played once before, with B3 class. the frequency is not what i am hoping for, but it was fun to play on that day, even though i had a coughing fenzy during that time. I seem vulnerable to illness eh? lol

About the comment from a friend.

We know each other for 11 years already, since the age of 7, pri 1, this long duration is enough for us to value the fate shared. The common memories along the way, i will never 4get. Yes, maybe along the way, issues are brought up, thinkings about each other changed because the way we did stuff differs from the past, but i am sure we have our own stand in our ways of doing stuff. We understand the way life is ran, and what we can do is to understand each other feelings when we do stuffs that affect each other. Things built up, i know we have disagreements at times, different personality discovered, and different way of handling some stuffs, but we understand each other quite well enough to understand the way we do stuffs. Maybe we can be more open with each other, giving a chance to explain every detail, clearing the air of misunderstandings and effects of some stuff done between each other. I wanted to write more on this, but couldnt relate exactly everything. We definitely are still the best of friends.

As for the guitar thing, i just want to express that time heals things. Perhaps vary in duration, but it does heal. What happened before will subsequently be of lesser impact than when it happened as time passes. People tend to forgive stuffs as time passes, what was done before may have negligible effect. We should not, for a moment of thoughts, do something on impulse, because to me, time does heal things, because we spent the time, thinking about the whole picture, evaluating and analysing the deeds. It doesnt really matter as long as it is over, you can still move on, on the same route, and eventually something different may happen relating to the same stuff. Ok maybe it sounds greek here, but i hope u understand what i mean. It's just an opinion though.

People who knows me know what happened between me and an old friend, Adrian. We were good friends, playing bball with each other, computer games, chatting, what good friends normally do. But for a series of events, our relationship broke down, thoughts flew, and frustrations grew. Our trust in each other was patched and broken down repeatedly. Eventually, in a surge of frustration, i decided to wash hands off him. That was what i felt was right to do at that moment of time. But now, it's different, i know he could have been a good friend of mine. And for some stupid guy in conference, i got frustrated and we went on into a cold war. This seems retarded now, for we shud understand more in each others stand. Yes, but what i did then was what i felt alright with then, a moment to regret now because time heals it up, my heart forgave him, for what i think he did wrongly, and we didnt have a chance to explain to each other, till now, 3 years later.

You may be wondering why i brought this up, i just wanted to say that time make us 4get about things we, or other people did before. unless its in a dire situation, things can be forgiven and new chance can be gained. It's just the issue of time given. What you think and want to do now may be different a few years later.

Basically, its like avoidance. which is bad, because whenever you have a way to get along, you have a chance to attain. Maybe the chance may not be what you desire, but at least you still have a contact. Friends are not all about romance, for everyone you met in life affects the way you live. Perhaps thats why people have more friends of their same gender, the romance issue is absent, which will not affect friendship thinking, and thats why some may be afraid to tell opposite gender friends they are invloved in bgr, for fear they may lose them, but i have my own thinking about that. As friends to be may not have a romance issue in them.

Gain a closer friendship and lose a relationship is better than losing both.