Post CT

exams again!, but hey, its over haha, that's what poly is good about. no 2 week span of examinations like secondary schools! it was so tedious back then, worrying about the limitless subjects. Now? a relatively healthy number of arnd 5 examable papers in a sem. I had 4 ct exams, in two days, although the waiting hours was long (1st paper 8:30 - 10 while 2nd was 4:30? 5:00?), the number of days are more significant! how glad am i that it is over now, i can go change my guitar strings and play the guitar again.

I aren't quite satisfied with what i did to the papers though, i have one or two mistakes here and there about which of coz could be done away with, with more effort and brain's ram. nevertheless, its over, and i am a free guy again, no need to hug the book as though its my favourite novel anymore! 2nd ODE? Integration? Reynolds? Pressure? MDesign? Marketing? No More!

Today, i had sakura int buffet with my family, and was supposed to have seoul gardens tml. No Problem at 1st thought, but after chewing and biting and swallowing all the stuff into my poor stomach + a excessive durian puff game, i couldnt have thought i will be able to do fine with two buffets in two days! Right now, i am kinda afraid of it, but lets hope i will feel better tml.

I am glad that u are glad that i am glad that u are glad that i and glad. :) but i am really glad, have a pleasant june july august september october november december january feburary march april may june july... guys! ok, madness.

1 Year

Almost 1 year it had been since i wrote something on a blog. its just a week lesser to complete the year, and i finally knew what happened back then. I had thought about some reasons for the sudden change, but i couldnt and will never know what the actual reason was at that time. Yes, i didnt ask, i didnt know how to, it would be weird to ask as well, feeling that she's trying to avoid. And it took a year before i finally knew what the reason was.

I don know what to say, and do not wish to dwell on the past, but it certainly felt sad when she told me she talked to her dog as a form of letting out. well, not solely sad, mixture of remorse and guilt too. We have a similiar problem, just that her's more serious than mine is, i lived with it, anger, frustration, senseless, words cannot describe the feeling, but i lived over it after time. I knew what it felt, to be on the verge of losing what you suppose cannot be broken, the only place you are supposed to feel safe in. It gave me a bad temper at that time, raging at every small stuff that i dislike, or felt frustrated with. You'd lose ur mind and do stuff you will never imagine doing normally. Thats what it can do to you, similiar to people fighting for their love ones, or belongings, this is a fight for own acknowledgement. I was lucky, i have friends in school which i think i heavily depended on during my time of distress then. Often, whenever my friends do things i dislike or towards me, i would get angry, felt hurt, alot of feelings actually, and thats what gave me my personality for that time, i only linked these up after getting over much of it, because the expectation we have towards friends are confused with family, you'd have more support within the family - and we need it among friends which can sometimes go terribly wrong. You are hoping to be in somewhere, which you think have been lost, and friends are one of the options, you play with friends, you laugh with friends, you live with friends. Normal people can get fed up with the outer world and gain consolation back home, troubled people like us can't, its a pincer attack, no where to run, no where to hide, no where with comfort, you just don't and wont feel like being anywhere. Just alone in the dark lonely sky, troubled with clouds. Knowing these, i felt remorse and guilt, we were close to each other then, chatting perhaps everyday, i knew her problems, and i understand it too, i could have gave her some comfort, at least, not to the extent that she would need to talk to her dog, who couldnt reply, or understand her sorrowful life. It was very depressing to know that. Its not that a dog is a bad companion, talking to anything will give you comfort, but people will normally choose talk to other people first, unless he/she feels that there's no one close or willing enuff listen to his or her sorrow. That's one of the reason why we people need friends too, not only for fun, but the support needed too. And she couldn't find 1.

But i am glad you are getting over it, and lets not dwell on the past anymore, live happy, stay healthy, eat fattily :D

*In msn, you told me you missed talking to me, i am happy to know that. It really felt terrible, i didnt know whether i really liked you or was it just felt the sudden lost of a close chat buddy. But i really did missed talking to you and felt terrible. I couldnt find words to describe it in msn, and maybe still can't now, but all i could say is that i too, seriously missed talking to you. It had been a year.*

Blog Renewal - Friend's Bday

Its June now, almost 1 year since i started writing stuffs in this blog, then, i wanted to express some thoughts and feelings, some questions that can't seem to be solved. I feel better writing them out, perhaps, somesort similiar to finding my own identity, what kind of person am i? what path in life am i going? although you are yourself, you may not really understand yourself towards other people, u are one guy, portraiting another to others.

I stopped blogging since march, and maybe i continue posting some articles here and there in the future.

Yesterday, 5th June, it was my friend's bday, Miss Yang Shu Ting. Yea, and we decided to go out and celebrate for her. Supposedly, we were to go after lessons, at 5, and since i have to help out in guitar enrichment classes, i had to sacrifice that for her bday!!! noble ba? haha... Ok, in the end, we skipped lesson instead, the 3 hours sem project from 2 to 5, we went for sushi buffet. Ah... foodstuff that satisfy my fat stomach. Some of us went in 1st, while three, seb, ks and me went to get a cake. Quite a hard choice, not too big, for its a buffet we are going, not too small or it wont be that nice a cake, and finally, not to fat, which girl in the world would eat a cake without getting concerned over her weight? Ended up, its a standard cake for xmas instead! blackforest haha. 38 candles, some for small pieces of cake, and a combined belated for another friend, 28th May, Dennis. Sushi was great, delicious, filled up and acceptable. The small cake came as planned, but without the candle though, we requested for it to be kept in their fridge, the suki sushi staff, so it's quite out of bounds. replacement? a chopstick, high -.-". Ok, then came the cake, which she cut ill-proportionly and we feast on it. After that, we went to a lanshop, to pass time actually, and have some fun. time flew and it was late evening, some of us played mahjong and some went to swim, at hougang swimming complex. 1st mahjong career lost lol, 40cents. After that, we went in search for durian, as seb wanted to eat, but it has closed. After these, it practically concluded the day, happy bday again~!

This reminded me of the 1st bday celebration with my sec friends, i was very happy then, it's a sensational feeling, you belong somewhere, with your friends. Its like a family. I appreciate it very much then, and i hoped she enjoyed her bday as well :)